Worries

How am I going to be a mother? Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited about it. However, there are a few things that concern me…

1. John has to remind me to eat. He is constantly asking me, “What did you have for (breakfast/lunch/dinner)?” or pleading with me to eat something when I just don’t feel like it.
How am I going to feed a baby every 2, 4, 6 hours if I can’t even remember to feed myself 3 meals?

2. I can’t get myself out of bed to get to work on time. Most days I can, I suppose, but I’m not happy about it. I stay in bed until the last possible minute and sometimes I am late to work. As long as I get my 40 hours a week, it’s okay, but that’s not the point.
How am I going to get myself out of bed to take care of a baby in the middle of the night when I can’t even get out of bed to get to work on time?

3. When plans change, I like to think I “go with the flow”, but I really don’t. I get upset about it, then get over it. I like to have a plan and anticipate any changes and make arrangement for those potential changes, but I don’t like it when something I haven’t planned for comes up or if I have to fall back to plan B (or C, D, E, etc)
How can I anticipate changes with children? You never know what a child is going to do/say/feel. “Sorry mom, we can’t come, little Queen is being fussy. Yeah, I know it’s our birthday week, but it’s just not going to happen…”

 

I know freak outs are normal. I mean, I’ve never been a mom before. Obviously I have no idea what I’m doing. But it’s scary.

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One thought on “Worries

  1. Sure, the freak-outs are normal. It’s okay! I’m expecting my second child now, so I feel qualified to reassure you…

    You will feed the baby because the baby will demand to be fed. When it’s hungry, it will let you know. After a while you’ll learn its early signs of hunger, but when you miss them baby will escalate into screaming; you can’t miss that! The easiest approach is to respond to every murmur of discontent by putting your nipple into baby’s mouth–unless it just ate less than an hour ago. As it gets older it will eat less often, but for a newborn the stomach is so tiny that it is possible to get hungry after just an hour.

    You will get up in the night because the baby will wake you. Get your sleep now–you need it for the hard work your body is doing–and don’t worry that you’re developing bad habits that persist into motherhood. Baby will help you change your habits. You won’t need an alarm or willpower to wake up multiple times per night. What you’ll need to work on is getting back to sleep quickly after baby is soothed, keeping calm (not angry) about being awakened, and teaching baby that when it’s dark outside we all lie down and keep quiet unless we really need something. Hormones will help with the first two things, especially if you’re breastfeeding (which also makes it easier to feed baby–no bottles to fix!). Here are my sleep strategies.

    The best way to cope with the inevitable disruptions to your plans is to plan baby-delay into your schedule. At first, plan to leave the house ONE HOUR before you would leave if it were just you getting someplace on time. Use the extra time to feed or diaper the baby who suddenly springs needs on you, and to double-check that you are bringing all the supplies you may need. Leave when you are ready, even if the hour isn’t up, in case a baby-delay comes up on the way there. Keep a book in your diaper bag so you’ll have something to do if you arrive ridiculously early and baby is asleep. As baby gets older and you get used to working together, you can reduce the amount of slack you plan into your schedule.

    Another way to get stuff done despite unpredictable infant influences is The Rule of One Thing and Three Things.

    I hope this is helpful! Best of luck with your pregnancy and motherhood! You can do it!!!

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